Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Our Story

Our Blessed Adoption
After 5 years of marriage, and 4 years of trying to have a baby, we moved to Louisville, Kentucky, for Jordan's job.  It was there, through our Westport Road church home and the adoption agency they sponsored, Childplace, that we became certified nursery care parents (foster parents for newborns.)  Our preacher and his wife took us to dinner one night and told us about it.  They were needing volunteers, and I was a recent stay at home wife and thought this would be a good service for me.  I loved all babies and I rationalized that it wouldn't be hard on me to give up the babies since I was trying to have one myself. Childplace only certified once a year.  Guess what?  We hadn't missed it.  We waited from September 2002 until June 26th to get a call about our first baby. We were told the birth mom was in labor.  The next call was Saturday to say it was a girl and that we needed to pick her up at University hospital on Sunday.
The baby, who at the time we were temporarily calling Belle, after a favorite aunt, was born June 27, 2003, and we picked her up from the hospital on June 29, 2003. The intent was to keep her a few days, weeks, possibly months, until an adoptive family was chosen.
We had been undergoing fertility treatments for a year with a top specialist, Dr. Nakajima, at the time and had 2 failed IUI's.  We were planning a 3rd, but it was clear whether we became pregnant or not had nothing to do with the fact that this little girl was meant to be ours.  I told Jordan I thought we were supposed to keep her.  So much so, it was hard for me to call her Belle, because we knew if we ever had a girl, her name would be Kennedy.  He looked at me and said, "Aw, Kim, if you're going to want all of these babies, then we don't need to do this."  I told him it wasn't all of the babies.  You see, we had provided respite for 4 of the foster babies before Kennedy.  It was just her.  I just knew.  THIS was Kennedy. Although, there was no conceivable way this could be possible.  He told me to pray about it.  And I did.  All night.  The very next day, her birth mother called.  I had only spoken with her 2 other times, but had an immediate connection with her from our first conversation.  She told me that she wasn't confident with choosing any of the profiles she had seen, and wished that we could adopt her.  Although I wanted to scream "YES!", I refrained.  I didn't want to come across to boldly, because I knew she must be in quite an emotional state, and didn't know how serious she was.  She went on talking and then, she said it again.  When she said it the 3rd time, I took a deep breath and said, "We want her to be a part of  our family!" She cried, I cried.  Jordan came in the room and thought I was crying because she had changed her mind and decided to keep the baby. But, I told him what she said.  We went in the living room to pick up Kennedy and the 3 of us hugged and I announced to my parents, who were visiting, "We're gonna be a family!"  It was one of the most memorable days of my life.  I immediately stopped all fertility treatments.  And for the first time in 5 years, becoming pregnant wasn't my goal anymore.   She changed that.  It was being a mommy to this baby girl.  Kennedy and I were meant to be together.  It was the perfect match.  A man and woman needing a baby, a baby needing a daddy and a mama.  God's perfect plan.  

Kennedy Jordan Harr 
June 27, 2003
"I prayed for this child..." 1Sam 1:27-28

Legal Placement 
September 22, 2003
"so we petitioned our God about this and he answered our prayer..." Ezra 8:23

Adoption final
September 24, 2004
"the Lord has done this, and it is marvelous in out eyes." Psalm 118:23

Our  Miracle Pregnancy
After 5 years of infertility, and 1 year of fertility treatments, we decided to stop the treatments. After God revealed his plan for us to adopt Kennedy, we just wanted to see what happened next.  At the end of 2004, we were living in Jackson, Tennessee, I had some complications and was referred to a Memphis women's fertility clinic to see Dr. Ke, another top specialist, for testing.  A polyp was discovered that at the opening of my uterus, which the doctor said had been there for years, but had never been noticed before despite the many invasive procedures I had undergone back in 2002 and 2003. In fact, they never knew why we weren't conceiving. I had 4 surgeries, D&C, laproscopy, hysteroscopy, and polypectomy performed in March 2004. After the surgeries, they scheduled a follow up in August with Dr. Ke, the director of the fertility clinic.  He looked at me and told me that Jordan and I would never conceive naturally. Since intrauterine insemination hadn't worked, our options were: In Vitro, another adoption, or nothing.  I explained that if we hadn't gotten Kennedy the way we had, we may go another way, but we weren't wanting to continue with fertility treatments.
God saw things a little differently, and the next month, we were pregnant. We know that God blocked our getting pregnant so that we could get our Kennedy.  Then, he allowed it to be revealed and removed to continue his plan for our family.
September 15, 2004, I remember looking at the pregnancy test in disbelief.  After all of the MANY negative ones in the past, this one was positive!  I called Jordan in a state of shock, still believing it couldn't be right.  I then went to the doctor to have a blood test.  And, I was.  I really, really was.  Jordan and I told Kennedy when Jordan got home and she jumped around the room cheering!  She immediately said, "I want a boy!"
I was considered high risk with my background, so Dr. Ke wanted to see me for the first 3 months.  We went for our first ultrasound with all the excitement you can imagine.  The expression on the technician's face brought that to a halt quickly.  She went to talk to the doctor, and came back and told us to go back and wait for him.  Another doctor came in and said, "I'm so sorry.  There's been no growth.  If you don't lose the baby, we'll schedule a D&C."  We asked if there could be some mistake, but she said no. Well, longest ride home from Memphis to Jackson ever.  That night, I grieved the loss of this baby we had waited so long for.  The next morning I got a call from the lab saying that my blood levels were on target and that maybe that I was just earlier than they thought. Double miracle!  Kennedy got her wish when we found out the baby was a boy on January 3, 2006.  Our little miracle!

Jackson Kyle Harr
May 25, 2006
"As for God, His way is perfect" 2 Sam 22:31a

Our second miracle pregnancy
When I gave birth to Jackson, our doctor asked about birth control before leaving the hospital. We laughed and explained to him that it was a miracle we were there at all, and most unlikely to be back ever again.  But if so, bring it on!  Fast forward 5 months, and I decided to get a pregnancy test.  I took it right before bedtime.  I didn't tell Jordan, because I knew it would key Kennedy up, and so, I kept it to myself until I got Kennedy and Jackson to sleep.  I went downstairs, and Jordan was sitting in his chair eating a yogurt.  I said, "Those are 2 pretty terrific kids we've got up there.  I wonder what it will be like with 3?"  He JUMPED out of his chair, grabbed me, and we hugged in disbelief and joy.  I was a month along with baby Harr #3!  We were thrilled.  Our dream of having a large family finally realized.  I loved that we were having back to back babies-our version of twins!  We told Kennedy and Jackson the next morning.  Of course, Jackson didn't understand, but Kennedy was an old pro by now, and she screamed and squealed about it.  Her face was priceless.  She said immediately, "I hope it's a girl!  I want a sister so we can share a room!" We decided to not find out the gender, to let it build for one huge surprise.  And, it was!  We thought all along it was a boy.  But, on June 11, 2007, just 12 1/2 months after her big brother was born, Kennedy got her wish, and Chandler Grace was born.

Chandler Grace Harr
June 11, 2007
"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine..."Eph 3:20

God had a plan for our family.  Each member was chosen by him and we were all brought together for a reason-for his purpose.  We know that the infertility was a block so that we could get our Kennedy.  And then, it was taken away so that we could have our Jackson and Chandler Grace.  Our blessed broken road of infertility, adoption, and miracle pregnancies.

"God moves in a mysterious way, his wonders to perform" John 13:7

2 comments:

Dallas said...

I cry EVERY SINGLE TIME I read that story! Thank you for sharing it.

Enchantress said...

Wow Kim - when I clicked on "Our Story" I had no idea what I was about to read! I am in awe! What an amazing story of faith and blessings!